We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she smelled like a LAN party
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I am naked and annoyed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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