I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
