So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize