what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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