Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
