if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
