The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
