Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
