How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
