her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
