Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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