Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
