New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
