I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I can tuck mytits in my pants
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
