he shaved USA in his pubs
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
