Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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