the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
