We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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