Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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