if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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