I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
