Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
