so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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