the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
