i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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