i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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