I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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