You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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