I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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