he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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