he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
