Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
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You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize