Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
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You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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