I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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