final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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