Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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