I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
