just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
