i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
