you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
