Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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