u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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