he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
