plz talk dirty to me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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