Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
