Cold hands, warm shart.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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