the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
