just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
