If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Life is so much better after having sex.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
