Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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