we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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