Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
