party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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