Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
