Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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