This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
