Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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