how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
