Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
