i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
