she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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