Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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