Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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