whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
