You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
