all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she smelled like a LAN party
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
